The Curse of the Broken Record
Who here has seen the 40 year old virgin? Remember when Paul Rudd says he'll kill everyone and burn the place down if he has to listen to that dvd again? That totally happens at work too. At the horsetooth center, we don't have a satellite radio like at the college center, so we have to play the shitty cds they have there, or bring in our own as long as they're family appropriate. The other night i was working and i had nirvana, foo fighters, jimmy eat world, and weezer all playing, and it was just going fine, and then this one lady comes up and says "is all you have weezer and nirvana?" in a really bitchy voice. "No, we can change it." says Bre.
So she puts in the shitty cds and the first song that starts playing is fucking karma chameleon. That's the song. If i hear it one more time at work, i'm gonna flip out and go on a shooting rampage. If you know the song, just imagine listening to it 100 times, often a couple times in a single night. It's pure hell.
The Curse of the Tainted Turkey
First and foremost, check out my new record for longest line to shoes that I sprayed at once. I more than doubled my old record. Not bad for an old man, if I may say so myself.
Then, as you know, it's Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was never at the top of my list for holidays, but it was always pretty fun cause I liked to eat. That's why I didn't feel too terrible about signing up to work today. It ended up fine, I got a big steak at work, and people kept bringing food into me. I didn't get to see my family, but I did get to see the Broncos win, so I guess it's almost fair. And I got paid overtime the whole day. The problem was that I didn't realize how busy it was gonna get. Once the football game ended, we were swamped for the rest of the night. All together we made $3200, and $2000 is ususally considered a good night.
But check this shit out. Most people were really nice today because they saw how hard we were working (I even made $22 in tips, almost as much as I've made in my whole career so far) but, now, I don't like to gossip, but do you all know Ashley Prothe? Yeah, we've had our differences, and we've seemed to have forgotten about me calling her a bitch to her face in high school, so we're cool now, but there's still no denying that her family is pretty rich. And you know what, her family was even nice to me tonight, but there was this other dude that was with them. Since it was the holidays, we didn't take coupons, and when he tries handing me one, I tell him this. The conversation goes something like this, if you'll stick with me:
"It doesn't say on the coupon that it's not good today."
"Yeah?"
"These were in today's newspaper."
"Wow. Well, we don't take them."
"Can I talk to a manager?"
"I'm the closest you'll find right now."
"OK, I'm gonna report you to the Better Business Bureau."
"Alright, whatever, you can talk to our owner if you want...(I hand him the owner's card) He's out of town tonight, but you can call his cell tomorrow."
"Why don't we call him now?" (I look at the clock... almost midnight)
"I don't think he'd be happy with that, but it's up to you..."
I get the dude's information and all, and he keeps saying "i'm gonna go call him right now".
Dude, it's a difference of maybe $10. Chill the fuck out. By the way you're dressed, I can tell that you're rich. I know you didn't work today, and here I am taking your shit over a stupid fucking coupon, and now you're going to call my boss in Pittsburgh at midnight because I was doing my job. Fuck you my man. Go back to Texas you stupid fucking redneck. Give a kid a break before I mess you up, motherfucker.
So, even though the rest of the night was busy and stressful and all, that was the low point. I could not believe that asshole, and now i only pray that he doesn't pay up on what he owes, and i can bounty hunt his ass down and take him for all he's worth. That'd be sweet. Thanks for tuning in, and Happy Thanksgiving.
The Curse of the Unreliable Co-worker
It's been a while since I've posted anything else here. It's probably because I worked about 40 hours this weekend. Most of it was because I had to cover one persons shift because she's in bedrest because she's pregnant, and I had to work overtime for another kid because he showed up 45 minutes late for one shift, and didn't show up at all the next day. I'm kinda thinking he won't be around for too long.
It was a good time, though, because since I was working extra, my boss was really loose and playful all day. I got to see how funny he can be. This little girl was looking at the change machine when he walked by and she asks "Is this your change machine?" and he goes "Yep. Grew it from the ground up." There's another reason why I want to be a teacher, because the girl totally believed him. So easily manipulated.
The Curse of the Faulty Thumb
We don't want sissies in our house. When we see a 20-year-old throwing a seven pound ball, we say "be a man, and get a real fuckin' ball". Seriously, the lighter balls are made of styrofoam. Total trash. But when it comes time to tell someone to put their small balls on our rack, it's usually a fight to not have to do it.
For this time, Di and I were thumb-wrestling to see who would go tell some jack-offs to put the balls away, when she says "winner goes tell them!" So we start and I just put my thumb down. She looks at me thinking I was trying to lure her in, and then slams her thumb down on top of mine. "HA!" she says. "Yep, have fun." She's an awesome girl, but sometimes she's just not the quickest to the punch.
