A Day In The Life of a Pinhead

The Curse of the Tainted Turkey

First and foremost, check out my new record for longest line to shoes that I sprayed at once. I more than doubled my old record. Not bad for an old man, if I may say so myself.

Then, as you know, it's Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was never at the top of my list for holidays, but it was always pretty fun cause I liked to eat. That's why I didn't feel too terrible about signing up to work today. It ended up fine, I got a big steak at work, and people kept bringing food into me. I didn't get to see my family, but I did get to see the Broncos win, so I guess it's almost fair. And I got paid overtime the whole day. The problem was that I didn't realize how busy it was gonna get. Once the football game ended, we were swamped for the rest of the night. All together we made $3200, and $2000 is ususally considered a good night.

But check this shit out. Most people were really nice today because they saw how hard we were working (I even made $22 in tips, almost as much as I've made in my whole career so far) but, now, I don't like to gossip, but do you all know Ashley Prothe? Yeah, we've had our differences, and we've seemed to have forgotten about me calling her a bitch to her face in high school, so we're cool now, but there's still no denying that her family is pretty rich. And you know what, her family was even nice to me tonight, but there was this other dude that was with them. Since it was the holidays, we didn't take coupons, and when he tries handing me one, I tell him this. The conversation goes something like this, if you'll stick with me:

"It doesn't say on the coupon that it's not good today."
"Yeah?"
"These were in today's newspaper."
"Wow. Well, we don't take them."
"Can I talk to a manager?"
"I'm the closest you'll find right now."
"OK, I'm gonna report you to the Better Business Bureau."
"Alright, whatever, you can talk to our owner if you want...(I hand him the owner's card) He's out of town tonight, but you can call his cell tomorrow."
"Why don't we call him now?" (I look at the clock... almost midnight)
"I don't think he'd be happy with that, but it's up to you..."
I get the dude's information and all, and he keeps saying "i'm gonna go call him right now".

Dude, it's a difference of maybe $10. Chill the fuck out. By the way you're dressed, I can tell that you're rich. I know you didn't work today, and here I am taking your shit over a stupid fucking coupon, and now you're going to call my boss in Pittsburgh at midnight because I was doing my job. Fuck you my man. Go back to Texas you stupid fucking redneck. Give a kid a break before I mess you up, motherfucker.

So, even though the rest of the night was busy and stressful and all, that was the low point. I could not believe that asshole, and now i only pray that he doesn't pay up on what he owes, and i can bounty hunt his ass down and take him for all he's worth. That'd be sweet. Thanks for tuning in, and Happy Thanksgiving.

posted by Pablo @ 1:27 AM